Musings on Joyful Living

5 Tips to Assure Birthday Bliss Musing by Sheila

by Sheila

The majority of my birthdays have come and gone with little hoopla. As a kid, a summer birthday meant it was more of a challenge to have a party as our family spent the summers on a lake in Minnesota just far enough away from friends to make it too much of an effort. In my adult life, I was used to not being ‘celebrated’ so the fact that my husband was not much for throwing a party or shopping for gifts (beyond the practical toaster type), didn’t seem to phase me. It seemed silly to need attention and I had the joy of coordinating elaborate birthday extravaganzas for my kids. When I turned 40, I was 17 days newly divorced and having the best girlfriends on the planet, they threw a birthday celebration that made up for all the rest complete with limo for 13 of my closest friends, lobster dinner, gifts and heartfelt birthday toasts for my first new year of freedom. It was over-the-top joyous and we danced until 2AM.

I look back on that celebration and my heart swell with gratitude. I can still feel the love of that day.

So this year, as the day marking the beginning of my more than 40-somethingth year was drawing closer, I started to get nervous how lonely it might feel knowing my ‘children’ would be away and I had moved to another part of the country, many miles from ‘the best girlfriends on the planet.’ I knew I would need to take matters into my own hands if I was to ensure a happy outcome lest I fall victim to my own pity party. So here are my top 5 tips for ensuring your own birthday success.

1. Tell people. As silly as this sounds, no one is going to know it’s your birthday if you do not tell them. I found myself proclaiming “It’s my birthday” with the pride of a 5 year old to anyone and everyone who would listen. Believe it or not, it felt good to receive well wishes from strangers and brief acquaintances and I believe they felt good being able to assist in brightening my day.
2. Enjoy the love from social media. This actually relates closely with #1. With the birth of facebook, remembering others on their special day became so much easier. It is not that people do not want to acknowledge you with love and affection on your birthday, it is just easy to forget in a life filled with so much. Facebook has been amazing at spreading the word to remind friends and family, and I bathed in the affection I received from friends old and new from around the globe.
3. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. I planned a full day of taking myself out and doing things I love to do. I scheduled a morning walk with a new acquaintance/friend, then strolled through the farmer’s market enjoying the sunshine, fresh produce and musical entertainment. I also wanted to treat myself to an out-of-the-ordinary adventure, so I attended a rope dancing class, a precursor to dancing with fire. Blazin’ good time. After a lovely lunch, I attended a 90 minute power yoga class and filled the evening with phone calls with close friends. My whole body was filled to the brim with love and gratitude.
4. Move and groove your body. As you can see, I filled my day with lots of movement in dance, yoga, and walking which released beta-endorphins and seratonin, both natural feel good chemicals throughout my body to brighten my mood. It doesn’t need to be exercise per se, just be sure to move your body with something you enjoy and feels good. Note that going shopping and trying on lot of clothes requires a lot of bending and raising your arms over your head (aka exercise). In fact, I did go on a shopping excursion the day before my birthday and tried on many hot, sexy dresses and actually got ‘stuck’ in one that required quite a bit of exertion to free myself. The laughter released an added bonus of endorphins.
5. Extend the celebration at least a week if not more. Extra credit if you celebrate all month. Since my birthday fell on a Sunday this year, I was pleasantly surprised I was able to fit in so many favorite activities, however, I couldn’t schedule in the spa treatments I desired, so I stretched #3 in how I wanted to be treated by scheduling a massage the week before and a facial the week after. And since I proclaimed it was my birthday far and wide, I also scored several dinner invites the following week.

All in all, it was a surprisingly blissful day through and through. I even put together a short video of some of the highlights of my day. Enjoy!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtjn5hErPok[/youtube]

Due to popular demand, here is a video of actual fire dancing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP5pcMc0EBI[/youtube]

Leave a Comment

  • First – Happy Birthday!! I love that you took charge of your birthday!

    I had my birthday over the weekend. This year was the first time I put the date up on Facebook. I was curious what would happen and how it would feel. I read through each cheerful comment slowly, taking in the photo of the lovely person who took the time to write something. It felt good. Not crappy or forced–no one make them pass on the wishes. I decided I’m leaving it up there for next year. Why not get another 200 birthday wishes?

    The MO around our house is ho-hum birthdays and my husband sounds similar to yours! This year I got a little antsy about the ho-hum-ness, so I’m bookmarking these ideas for next year. After all, finding the little things to celebrate makes life all that more fun, and isn’t that what we’re here for?

    Thanks for sharing what you did, and happy birthday!

    • Happy Birthday, Jenny, we seem to have a powerhouse in summer birthdays! Glad you enjoyed the social media love this year, as well. I have learned that we teach others how to treat us, so that fact that I didn’t treat myself special on my day was what my family picked up on and followed suit. Now I am re-programming my kids to treat me like a goddess, but I had to start with me. 😉

  • LOVE THIS!!!! My birthday is AUGUST 3rd (plug), so this is very timely and I will definitely do some “reaching” this year!!! Love the idea of the fire dancing and may have to look into that for the fall! I have always been about the Birthday Month concept, as far back as I can remember…but, this year I am in a similar situation where I am not in a relationship and not so close to girlfriends……soooooo, your ideas totally rock and I am thrilled you shared them! Thanks luv!
    xo,
    Tina

    • Happy Pre-Birthday, Tina! (I will be traveling, so it is quite likely I will forget to honor you on your special day.) I am happy you could use the tips, I definitely enjoyed taking the more vocal approach this year than letting it slide by without fanfare. Absolutely check out the fire dancing if you can find it near you. Where do you live? Did I see that you know people in Tucson? That is where I am living now – would love to connect if you are near!

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    I absolutely love the idea of soaking up all the social media love … reading every single comment.

    Your video was great! i feel like I got to be in your life for a day! That rope exercise looks cool. is there a website so i can find it locally?

    Also, can I add to your list #6: Throw yourself a party. Dinner with family or friends, something in addition to treating yourself for the day.

    xo

  • Shelia, this is such a FUN post! My birthday was on July 15 (I’m a Cancer too!) and I almost wrote a blog post about it. My experience and sentiments are so similar to yours! Of your suggestions, the one I really enjoyed was the love from social media. According to Facebook I received over 100 messages on my birthday and that did not include the ones that came after and phone calls from some of my closest friends. I really let it in and took the opportunity to appreciate everyone. All of your other suggestions are opportunities for next year!

    And I love your video and the rope dancing! I have never seen that before. Thanks for sharing!

  • Thanks Tanya, I appreciate all the love!
    I am not sure where you can find the dancing locally, but I did post a video (see above) of the actual fire dancing one aspires to after learning to successfully dance with the rope without hitting/torching yourself. 😉 (Local company is ElementalArtistry.com)
    #6 is a great idea, but I didn’t have any friends or family here to celebrate with me, thus the need to create my own day. Although along with extending my birthday, one friend returned and had me over for dinner and next week I will be with all kinds of family and friends, so the party will continue!

  • Happy Birthday to you too, Laurie! Only two days away from mine! Isn’t facebook amazing that way? I forgot to post to twitter, I am sure I could expanded my well wishes even further. I just posted a video of real fire dancing above, check it out, I bet you would like it!

  • Here is a little secret I do OFTEN – I tell people my age early, that way when I get to that birthday it doesn’t shock me that I am so much older! I keep saying I am 49 but I won’t be 49 until October 1st! That way I ease into that huge number! (This is not to brag, but it does help that I do not look my age, so if I do start looking it I may have to regroup). You are also reminding me Sheila that I have thrown a party for my birthday (which fits with Tell Everyone) and is a whole lot of fun, BUT I end up cleaning, shopping, preparing food, hostessing and cleaning…. um, this does not sound very Goddess- like as I reveal it here…maybe this year I will have to rethink my strategy! Thanks for the heads up, I have time to plan! Laura

  • I LOVE this post. It is just filled with some fabulous ideas. I really enjoyed your tips to ensure that you have an amazing Birthday. My Birthday just passed, however I would love to use these idea in the future. I think celebrating ourselves is sometimes forgotten and in reality we should be proud of where we are and celebrate our existence. Love your spirit.

  • Thanks Laura, I appreciate your tip. It actually reminds me to pass along some of my mom’s advice. She used to say that at a certain age she switched from lying about her age and saying she was younger than she was (I never bought into that philosophy) to saying she was older than she was so people would think she looked even better for her age. ha! At this point, I am happy to just rock it with my real age – I still cannot believe I am as old as I am as I do not feel it at all. Life is grand!

  • Thanks, Sasha, belated birthday wishes to you. May this year be filled with wonder and excitement as you embark on new beginnings of your heart’s desire!

  • Ooooooooo I LOVE BIRTHdays! Happy Birthday to YOU, Sheila!

    GREAT job of taking command of your own birthday wishes! Not so many years ago, i realized that people did their best in their attempts to make my birthday dreams come true, but not knowing the inner nuances of my wildest dreams and desires, they fell short and I felt disappointed. So… I knew their good hearts and intentions… and thus I realized I needed to create the event and invite everyone to join. It has been GRAND ever since!

    I thought you did an AWESOME job with the rope! I would have gotten tangled up like kitten in a ball of yarn.

    Joy in LIFE!… so much to you in this new year of your self creation, Sheila! xo

  • I’m a big fan of a birthday party, ha ha. I totally spoil myself and everyone on my birthday but never thought about extend it to a month. So this year, it’s going to be my big one. I’ll be 40, (I can’t believe that) ^O^ in December. But I still feel like I’m 30 😛 so I’m going to have a month celebration for my big birthday from the beginning of Dec. through the end of the year, yeah!

  • Happy Birthday Sheila! I’m so glad I found your blog today. It reminds me again how important birthdays are. And to take a bit more time to say Happy Birthday to my facebook friends.

    I’ve done “birthday weeks” before quite successfully – so much fun. I’ll have to try a birthday month too. Oh wait, maybe that is what I did on my 40th birthday, I just didn’t call it the same. I went on a 6 week adventure, and spent my 40th birthday alone in Fort Lauderdale. I came back a different person, and I’m so grateful. Thanks for the awesome reminder Sheila

  • sheila- LOVE the firedancing you tried- how ballsy of you!
    i am all about the week long birthday celebrations… why not?
    the tips you give for making the day or even week special are great- and yes, even if not all 200 of the wishes on facebook come from close friends, at least you know there are people out there wanting to put a smile on your face, and not just your page…
    keep on dancin’!

  • Jean, I am with you, I am going for the month this year!

    Suki, I hear what you are saying, I still feel physically as good as my 20s and appreciate the extra wisdom of my 40’s. My 40th was my all time favorite – live it up BIG girl!

    Loralee, that sounds like a big adventure and a story I would love to hear sometime. There is so much to gain from spending quality time with ourselves. 😉

    Danielle, I am dancing right along with you!

  • Happy Birthday Sheila!

    I love #1 because it reminds me of my 3 year old is always asking when his birthday is and the bubbling excitement in his voice. I also try to give my freinds Facebook birthday love because I know how cool it feels to get that love back.
    The idea of celebrating ourselves is such a great message. So cool that you let us go along for the ride!

  • A Most Happy Birthday! I really could feel how different it felt for you this year. Sounds like a lot of changes going on. It also seems you took that great birthday from last year and just internalized it to create something wonderful for yourself this year! I love all your wonderful suggestions, especially about prolonging it for at least a week. Hell, if I could, every day would be my Birthday! But I ‘m not sure if I could get every one to play along. Cheers Sheila!

  • Thanks Scott, I felt like a 3 year old telling people because I said it with the same level of excitement a little kid would have. I even surprised myself that I was doing it and even more amazed at how good it felt. I guess we are all still just kids at heart. 😉

    Pat, it reminds me of another friend who has a summer birthday who said she needed to employ the “I am special everyday, not just on my birthday” mindset to overcome her sense of rejection from her own childhood. Interesting perspective. So if others don’t buy into your every day plan, know that you can celebrate the gift you are to the world each and every day!

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  • Sheila,

    Guess what? Today is my birthday! The lovely Laurie Tenenbaum Rosenfield refered me to your post. I’m stretching mine out this year too! I’ve never been one to have big parties or enjoy lots of attention. But the secret is I want the people closest to me to make a big deal out of it. But how will they know if I don’t tell them right?

    I’ve got a fun extended weekend planned, including yoga class, a hair cut, massage and boat party to celebrate another friend’s birthday on Friday. I also got the coolest note from the Universe today. I sign up for these daily letters at TUT.com. I loved mine sooo much today that I want to share it here. Let’s all celebrate like this for our birthdays! :

    Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
    Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
    Happy Birrrrthday Dear Ashley,
    Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu!

    A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Ashley Gwilliam doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

    Quite simply:

    You’re the kind of person, Ashley,
    Who’s hard to forget,
    A one-in-a-million
    To the people you’ve met.
    Your friends are as varied
    As the places you go,
    And they all want to tell you
    In case you don’t know:
    That you make a big difference
    In the lives that you touch,
    By taking so little
    And giving so much!

    Ashley, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn’t know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won’t be alone!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ashley!

    Happy Birthday to ALL of you ladies!

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